Archive for : October, 2014

Emotions… emotions!

That state of being when it seems your brain is turned off and something else is making decisions for you, haha 🙂 I’ve always been an emotionally expressive person. Years ago it meant I could fall into laughter or tears momentarily, sometimes it didn’t even help if people were around or some event was happening… I had to use all my inner will to calm down. At times I’d have gone out of the room if there was a lecture or something. You can also imagine what I had to live through just before the stage performances. At some point I’ve had enough of my own ”emotional presets” and decided to learn how to prevent myself from getting overly emotional when the situations required a cold mind, and also to calm down fairly quickly if I still somehow managed to give in to the feelings. After some years of training I thought I’ve become better at handling my own emotions.

Yeah, right. It seems as soon as you think you’re at peace, life has yet another lesson for you! Last night, in a warm quiet room, I am adding final touches to my website that is about to be published. Taking a break from peering into texts and pictures, I click into my mailbox and see an email that gives me such an emotional wave I thought I don’t do those anymore 😀 The coolest part about this one was that when the emotions are so pleasant you don’t want to calm down. You want to stay excited and feel the awesome feelings. So I did, thinking it was a nice conscious choice. And then I couldn’t fall asleep and my imagination was going wild and my heart was racing like a marathon runner. It’s great when ideas come when you need them, and not so great when you are trying to fall asleep after a long day.

The best part about emotional calming-down is that a mere thinking effort might work – but usually when the emotions are not so strong. In my case yesterday it was like, I hear you brain, sure, yes, I know the logical reasons why I need to calm down, and nope, I just keep enjoying the excitement 😀 So what helped? Surprisingly, only a bit of light physical exercise. I think those years of training show in cases like this… just some years ago I would’ve needed to do a couple of dozen sit-downs just to get to the neutral feeling and probably a dozen more to secure the emotional level.

Of course after that I fell asleep in no time and in the morning it was fun to think how overwhelming it felt the night before 😀 So yeah…. emotions are so emotions.