Archive for : October, 2015

И хорошо сидится

И хорошо сидится

Прежде, чем работать сутки

Прежде чем работать сутки

Сквозь ужас этот, умиротворение

Сквозь ужас этот умиротворение

It’s foggy and no wind behind the window

It's foggy and no wind behind the window

Boulez at Piano Espoo

Yesterday’s Boulez was music like nothing I’ve ever heard before.

It was an enormous fire-breathing dragon, perfectly built by superhuman powers, many times your size, massive, impressive, and at the same time walking your ground, and somehow uncomfortable to be around until – suddenly – you realize he is not only your friend but also a gentleman with finest manners, exotic knowledge, multiple talents, gracious, wild, and genuine to the bones, and what you take first as madness in its final instance turns out his playfulness because the happiness of seeing you flashes in his eyes like lightnings of harmageddon, and it saves you from being – accidentally – burnt to ashes, but doesn’t help you being pressured down, pressured down, and then set so free and light like a feather of a baby swan, this all thanks to his well-dozed self-control together with the loving care he shines towards you anytime you are around, awaking the warmness inside of you, accepting you each time just the way you are, curious about the structures inside your soul and studying attentively yet with pure and almost innocent stare the manifestation of your previous experiences – your body – and leaving you stronger, bolder, braver, cleaner inside, tougher in the core and softer than before in your outer shell – and all of this just because at the moment you and the dragon met, a force of wilderness older than the world itself was awoken in you, awoken in you, it awakens in you, and the dragon, himself a child of nature, immediately and unmistakably identifies it in you, every time he knows when it opens up in you, and, bowing in respect to you in his soul, doesn’t really show it much with his actual behavior as he starts playing around and jumping in enormous leaps, without giving it away in any way, your own sensations and intuition being your only trusted source, and suddenly he is already picking you up carefully now and then, very carefully, very delicately, so delicately, with – seeing it again without error – your silent contented permission – even a request! and, upon the touch, confirming it off your skin, and then the two of you share the same wings, and the world turns into a giant playground, where the favorite toys are – also with the silent full-hearted consent of yours – the deepest feelings, his and yours, the ones living beyond the liking and disapproval, you don’t even know if feelings is the right name for them as you have never dived so deep inside yourself and this is the first time this deepness was awoken inside of you, with neither good nor evil dwelling anywhere near, they actually are a clear space that feels like deep dark void one moment and then gracefully they transform into sparkles of charm mortals have long forgotten, and the next moment all of your toys are hurled at you and at the last moment stopped graciously hanging in the air at your hands so that you can play like Goddess herself, and soon, very soon by the time measurements of the cosmic evolution, you are turning into a Goddess yourself, of beauty unseen outside because there are no notions of inside and outside any more, Goddess neither caring nor being indifferent, because your reasoning lives now in a new dimension, elevated to the next level, which you didn’t know of but always felt, and now in the shape of a dragon in front of your eyes – a gentleman dragon, young and lively, with impeccable upbringing and skills of the master of all masters – and now you feel all of the melodies of the world washing you over with endless waves of most intricate meanings, high up in a distant galaxy that feels like your own cozy bathtub, filled with foamy purity, and you see the sounds and taste the colors, you can lick the images off your lips and with your fingertips touch the scents of cosmic concord, and as your gentleman, your dear friend takes you up on his next soaring spree, you even take a nap on his lap in bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss and self-re-creation as for a moment you feel the need for a pause, just one tiny pause, and the next moment you’re fully in again, eyes wide open, smile of a child, shape made of flowing curves, and heart of a warrior, and the game goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, with the beginning so past the ancient times no one can trace it and its ending so deep ahead that the desire of eternity herself is not enough to reach out for it into the future, it’s beyond all of your imagination, and it feels – and absolutely rightly so – like it has always been, and will always be – like the dragon – and you – from then and now on until forever – you two in your eternal union.